After The Divorce

It doesn’t matter how long you have been married, when you get divorced you feel a bit disconnected from the world, you may even feel like a stranger in your own skin.  While this can be a very uncomfortable and trying time, there are some things that you can do to make sure that you get through this time and come out the other side better than ever.  Nothing will ever make a divorce a great experience, but you can find new hope at the end of it all.

1. Give yourself plenty of time to just be upset.  It is normal, no matter how bad the relationship was, to be sad that your marriage is over.  When you share any amount of time with another individual it’s hard to call it quits and just walk away from it without feeling some regrets or sadness.  Give yourself time to wallow in the sadness and really feel the emotions.  You’ll be so much better off if you do this than simply try to suppress the emotions.

2. Spend time with friends.  Often when in the company of friends, especially old friends or people who really know us, we are able to be ourselves.  When we are able to be ourselves we often rediscover who we are away from our spouse.  This is often what we need to spark a new excitement for life, a life without our spouses.

3. Do something that you have never done alone before.  Whether it is traveling, going to dinner, anything that you have never done alone.  When you do something alone and you have a good time by yourself it will help you improve your confidence.  It will also help you see the upside of divorce, now you don’t have to confer with anyone about what you want to do and when you want to do it.

4. Spend some time with a new hobby or pick up an old hobby that has been neglected since you got married.  We all have things that we like to do that seem to go by the wayside when we get married.  Pick this old hobby back up or simply choose something new that you want to do.  This will give you something new to focus on and will also give you something new for your new life!

5. Don’t rush into a new relationship.  You should give yourself at least six months before you even consider a new relationship.  You should wait at least three months before you start dating.  These are minimums.  It’s not that you can’t go out and have fun, but you won’t be very good dating material while you are raw.  You will end up chasing great people away because the divorce is still so new.  So, enjoy being fully single for awhile.

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