Common Motivating Factors for Forgiving a Cheating Spouse

There are many people who find out that their spouse was cheating and they walk out and never look back.  For others, simply walking away doesn’t seem like an option, or there are certain factors involved that leave them thinking that they should at least try to stick it out.  Below are some of the most common reasons that people choose to try the forgiveness route.

1. They were truly sorry for cheating.  If you believe that your spouse is truly sorry for cheating, then you may want to think about staying.  We all do make mistakes and if this is a first and they do seem like they feel bad and will never do it again, think about it.  Just make sure that they aren’t just sorry for getting caught.  Don’t making being sorry a reason that you forgive someone for cheating over and over again.

2. The kids.  When you share kids it seems like you give your relationship a lot more slack than if you didn’t have kids.  While sticking it out for the kids is a good idea, make sure that you aren’t just staying because of the kids.  You need to teach your kids how to have healthy respectful relationships, and allowing yourself to be cheated on and disrespected isn’t something you want to teach.

3. You were given a second chance in the past.  If you feel like you need to give your spouse a second chance because they gave you a second chance, you’ll be doing what a lot of people do.  Just make sure you are offering a second chance for the right reasons.

4. They were drinking when they cheated.  What you need to remember is that unless the person is never going to drink again, drinking will always be a convenient excuse for cheating if you allow it to be.  Think carefully before you allow someone to be forgiven for cheating on you because alcohol was involved.

5. Love.  Many people decide they need to forgive their spouse for cheating because they truly are in love.  What you need to remember before you choose to forgive someone is that cheating is not a loving action.  If someone is able to turn their love for you off and on, you should be worried.  It’s fine if you want to work it out, but don’t delude yourself into thinking that they love you as much as you love them if they were able to cheat.

These are just some of the most common reasons for forgiveness after cheating.  They are neither right or wrong, but you need to think about it carefully before you decide to forgive someone for cheating.  It’s a personal choice, just remember that your reason for forgiveness sends a message, and if you aren’t careful you may be sending the message that their actions were acceptable.

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