Preparing as a Couple for Holiday Parties
Holiday parties can be a source of joy as well as a source of tension and even the cause of hurt feelings and arguments for couples. That is why it is important to plan ahead for them so that you both have expectations and limits that are known and accepted by both of you. Many times when you prepare for the holiday parties in advance you will have more fun and get more out of them as a couple than you would have otherwise. Holiday parties can be a lot of fun if you allow for them to be!
First and foremost, talk about what holiday parties you have been invited to and who will be going to what. You should decide right away that you don’t necessarily have to make a showing at all of the parties together. There may be one or two parties that you each go to on your own, or you may decide as a couple that you would like to go to them all together. Regardless, make sure that you talk about who will be going to what so it isn’t a source of tension later on.
Talk about expectations while you are at the parties. There may be some parties where one of you is more comfortable than the other one. What do you expect your spouse to do to make you more comfortable? Would you like them to stay by your side the whole time? Introduce you to the other people at the party? Talk about this before hand so you don’t have any moments of tension caused by one person not doing what the other person needs or wants them to do. When you talk about this before hand you’ll understand what is expected or wanted of you, which will help immensely.
Talk about limitations. How many drinks do you think that the both of you should have? Does your mate tend to get a little too touchy feely every year? Set the boundaries and limitations so you can both enjoy the parties safely and without becoming angry or hurt at the actions of the other person. Also decide before you go out to the parties who will be driving home that night, so they can plan ahead and only have a drink or two or not drink at all so you can get home safely from the parties.
When you talk about parties in advance you can get a lot of things out in the open. If behaviors from the previous year left you feeling a bit irritated or hurt, voice them now so that your partner can hopefully avoid them this year. By being open and honest you can both enjoy the holiday season more and more with each passing year. If you don’t plan ahead, you may find that things are not any more enjoyable than they were last year!