The Question of Kids
Are you married and you and your spouse have been going back and forth about having children. This is a point of contention in a lot of relationships and if this subject has been broached in your relationship you should deal with it head on. Many people try to skirt around the issue and this is never effective. You just need to talk about it when it comes up, express how you feel, and then go from there, this will save you both time and energy later on down the road.
Hopefully before you got married you talked about whether or not you both wanted to have children. If you did, you may just need to talk about when you want to have children. If you didn’t talk about kids before the marriage you should spend some time talking about it now so you can ensure that you are on the same page before you proceed any further into the marriage.
If one of you is ready to have kids, you need to be aware that both of you may not be ready. Just because one person is ready for the responsibility, it doesn’t mean that both people are. If you are the one who is ready to have kids, you may need to be patient until your spouse catches up with you. Ask them to be honest with you about when they think they will be ready to have kids, if ever.
You also need to be prepared for the person to say that they don’t want to have kids, if you never talked about it before you got married. Is this a deal breaker for you? Will you be able to stay in the relationship and be happy if your spouse doesn’t want to have kids and you do? Will you grow to resent them? These are questions that you need to ask yourself to be sure that you are in the right relationship to get what you want from life.
The question of kids comes up in most relationships. It is a good idea to talk about this before you get married, but you need to keep in mind that people’s opinions and ideas change all the time. The timing may just be off for one person when the other is ready, or someone may change their mind about having kids at all. At this point you need to decide if you can stay together without the desire for children being met. Hopefully you can come together and make some decisions that will make you both happy while being true to yourselves and one another. Kids are a big deal, it’s not a decision that you should take lightly or be talked into.