When You’ve Decided to Get a Divorce

When your marriage is not working out and you have done all you can to turn things around for both you and your spouse you may find that there is not any other option for you than to consider divorce.  Divorce is a serious option and you should take your time and think about this before you tell anyone, even your spouse.  Divorce is taxing, can be expensive, and is permanent.  Once you utter the words you cannot take them back.

If you have decided that divorce is the only option the first thing you should do is meeting with a divorce lawyer.  Many lawyers offer a free first consultation so you can get an idea of what the law is, what you are looking at in the way of cost, and also so you can consider what you need to do to really separate your lives when you get a divorce. Visiting a lawyer will also allow for the reality of what you are doing to sink in, so if you change your mind you can still back out.

The next thing you need to do is tell your spouse.  Many people just allow for their partner to be served with divorce papers, but if you have any respect left for your spouse you will tell them that they will be receiving divorce papers.  Telling your spouse ahead of time is just much more honest and will allow both of you to be more prepared for the process so emotions don’t get out of control and things may not get as ugly when you do this.

If you are involved in a physically violent relationship you may want to consider having the divorce papers delivered without talking about it.  If you do this, you should be sure that you can remove any of your personal belongings and have a place to stay away from your partner after the papers are served.  This will just help you avoid getting in any physical altercations over the divorce.

Make sure that you visit the lawyer and go to court when you are told to do so.  This will allow you to represent yourself in the divorce process and things will end more favorably for you.  If you don’t show up, things may go to your spouse by default.  It can be difficult to face your ex in court or in a lawyer’s office as you end your marriage, but it is also a form of closure that in the end will be beneficial.

The best thing you can do when you are getting a divorce is keep busy.  It is easy to fall into a deep depression about the divorce, but you should keep busy until the process is over.  Then, when you are divorced you should give yourself some time to mourn.  Spend time alone, with friends, or partaking in your favorite activities.  It is normal to feel sad and even angry about the breakdown of a marriage, as it really is the death of who you were together.

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