Relationships Articles

There are statistics that say that anywhere from 30 to 60% of people in committed relationships will, at some point in time, cheat on their mate.  With the majority of us cheating on our mates, it comes as no surprise that the divorce rate is higher than ever and that there are a lot of broken homes and hearts.  Before you cheat, there are some things to think about.

1. Someone will always find out.  You may go into cheating assuming that you will be able to keep it quiet and between just the two of you, but at some point someone will find out.  If even one other person in the world knows, chances are that your spouse can find out, or that they will be told.

2. Before you act on the impulse to cheat, think about if this is the way that you would want to be cheated.  We often are able to justify the actions in the moment, but before you act and convince yourself that it is worth it, ask yourself if you would like for your mate to do the same to you.  If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t be treating.

3. Chances are that the person who cheats with you knowing that you are in a relationship isn’t the most moral person in the world.  This likely means that they are not trustworthy, may be involved in activities that you do not condone, and they may end up spilling the beans to your mate for you.

4. If your friends find out that you cheated, they may not be your friends anymore.  You may find that even the friends that don’t drop you like a hot potato never look at you quite the same.

5. Think about the fact that you are with someone who would cheat.  If you are planning a relationship with this person and they are cheating with you, chances are they would cheat on you.  Someone who would cheat with you is not someone you could ever trust not to do the same to you in the future.

These are all great reasons not to cheat, or at least things to think about before you give into the temptation.  When you are in a relationship there is going to be temptation wherever you go.  You need to remember what you love about your mate and your relationship with them before you give into the idea of some fun.  Generally speaking, the agony it will bring is not worth a few moments or even hours of fun.  Think about these things before you act, you’ll be so glad that you did.

Do you wish that you were having more sex?  Most men and women will state, when asked, that they would like to be having more sex.  Yet, so many people claim ignorance when they are asked why they aren’t having more sex.  There are several common themes among men and women that are not having as much sex as they would like.  When you know these common themes, you might be able to find more time for sex in your life.

1. They have a television in their bedroom.  Couples who have a television in the bedroom have half as much sex as those who do not.  The reason is that it is easy to just turn on the television and tune out of the intimacy that you used to tune into before the television set arrived.  Want to have more sex?  Simply leave the television off or move it out altogether.

2. Bickering.  Many couples spend more and more time bickering and this leaves less room in their lives for sex.  Even if there is still time, after all of the bickering neither party wants to be physically close to the other, which results in less sex.  Stop bickering so much, only talk about the things that really matter and work on disagreeing in a constructive manner.

3. The kids are in the bed with them.  Having kids is a lot of work, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t have any sex.  If the kids are sleeping in the bed with you, kick them out at least a couple nights a week.  This will ensure that you have the time and the space to have more sex.

4. Conflicting schedules.  In today’s society it is not uncommon for people to have mismatched schedules.  Instead of just giving up on spending time together, start going to the gym with one another or have lunch together.  This will reestablish that connection that is necessary for a great sex life.

5. Health problems.  As we age and are together there are often health problems that get in the way of our intimacy.  Instead of giving up, work together to take care of your body and theirs.  Start eating healthier foods together, work out together, and eat less.

As you can see, there are some common themes that interrupt ones sex life, but it doesn’t have to be this way.  You can begin to take charge of your sex life by fighting back against these things.  Everyone deserves to have a close, loving, and sexually gratifying sex life.  You may have to make some changes, but they will be well worth it in the end.

There are a lot of people who think they know who cheats and why they cheat, but the fact of the matter is that there are a lot of myths out there surrounding infidelity.  While a lot of us buy into all of the myths surrounding cheating, we would probably be better served to get to the cold hard facts.

1. Men cheat a lot more than women.  This simply is not true.  While more men pony up to cheating sometime during their marriage or relationship, the difference is not that big.  Statistics prove that 24% of men cheat while 14% of women cheat.  Sure, the statistics show that men cheat more than women, but as you can see the difference is not all that much to say that men cheat a lot more than women.

2. Many people believe that all people cheat for sex.  Many people cheat because they aren’t getting sexually fulfilled, but a lot of people cheat for other reasons.  In fact, more people cheat because they want someone to talk to, they’re lonely, or they need a connection with someone that they aren’t getting from their spouse.

3. People only cheat if they don’t love their spouse.  This simply is not a myth that is true.  In fact, most people do love their spouse and if they didn’t they would just get divorced.  Most people just are not happy at the moment with some aspect of their relationship and that is what leads to the cheating.

4. Men cheat with people who are younger.  This is another myth that just is not true.  Generally speaking, men don’t really care about the age of the woman that they make that connection with.  Instead, they are looking for someone who will fulfill a need whether it is emotional, social, or sexual.  The person he decides to cheat with has more to do with opportunity than age.

5. Once someone cheats they will always look for opportunities to cheat again.  If this was true, at least 50% of the population would never be someone that you could date or marry because they would cheat.  We cheat for more emotional reasons than anything else, so as long as the person is willing to commit to a relationship and work through the hard times, once they cheat doesn’t mean that they will always cheat.

 
These are really common myths associated with cheating.  Luckily, most of them are not true.  The more people come to terms with what is and is not true, the more easily they will understand one another and their own behaviors as far as cheating is concerned.  The fact of the matter is that it is a choice to cheat, and for some reason or another, a good portion of the population gives into the desire to cheat, whatever their motivating factors may be.

There are many things that you might say or do that will irritate your man to no end.  It is not that you are trying to irritate him; it’s just the difference between men and women.  You can help your relationship last longer and exist in a much healthier state if you know what men don’t want to hear you say…ever.

1. Don’t ask him if he loves you.  The bottom line is that if a man loves you, you’ll know it.  You’ll know it because he behaves in a way that tells you that he loves you.  He will also say it.  If you ask him if he loves you, you are going to appear needy and he’s going to wonder if the relationship is the right one for him.  Don’t force it, allow for him to tell you in his own time.

2. Don’t ask him if your outfit makes you look fat.  There is not a right answer when you ask him that, so don’t go out or don’t wear something unless it makes you feel good.  He’ll tell you when he thinks you look good, but if he doesn’t say anything it doesn’t mean he doesn’t think you look good.  Don’t ask him if you are fat, it will make him cringe for sure!

3. Do you like my new haircut?  Many women are constantly seeking approval from their men on everything that they do and they don’t want you to do that.  He wants you to feel confident, so if you get a new haircut be sure that you like it and that you feel good with it cut that way.  When you feel good and exude confidence he thinks you are much sexier, anyway.

4. Won’t you go shopping with me?  Face it, guys and girls shop in completely different ways.  Women like to browse around a bit, looking at things they need and even those that they don’t need.  Men like to go to a store, get the things they need, and get out.  Don’t ask him if he wants to go shopping with you, if he’s being honest, the answer will always be no.

5. You’ll make him cringe if you come into the living room when he watching the big game and you start to talk.  Keep the talking to the commercials and don’t try to talk about anything of any importance.  Chances are, if it’s not an emergency that it can wait until after the game when you won’t annoy him and you can have his full attention.  You’ll both do better if he’s not in the middle of a touch down or when the bases are loaded!

You can have the best relationship in the world, but if you have been together for awhile you will find that a lot of the excitement dies down.  For some people the excitement is gone after three weeks, for others it is three years, and for others they are always just looking for a way to keep things interesting.  You don’t have to let your relationship go cold; there are things that you can do that will keep you lusting after one another just like you did when you first met.  You have to be willing to try new things or just break out of the mold a little bit.  There are some relatively simple things that you can do to spice up your relationship!

1. Have fun together.  The couple that plays together stays together.  You should make sure that you are having fun together as often as possible.  Whether you both enjoy making pottery, going to the gym, running, or playing Frisbee in the park you should be sure that your relationship has healthy doses of fun on a regular basis.  This will allow you to come together not only as partners but also as friends.

2. Talk about the old days.  Instead of just wishing that you could turn back the hands of time, why not do it?  Why not talk about those great moments together, take out the pictures and the love letters, and talk about the way that you felt and the things that you liked that happened between you.  This will help you remember the way you were feeling and will reignite that old spark between the two of you.

3. Make time to snuggle.  So much of the time we feel compelled to have sex with one another when we want to be touched.  Instead of making every touch about sex, why not just snuggle up together and watch a movie or snuggle up when you talk at the end of the day.  This will feel good, you’ll both feel validated, and you’ll find that the initial snuggling can lead up to some great things in the bedroom later!

4. Try something new together.  A great way to reconnect and really get the fires burning is to try out something new together. This can be in the bedroom or anywhere.  Newness sparks interest and excitement and even if the new things are not tried out in the bedroom you will find that the excitement carries over to the bedroom and will bring about a whole new excitement between the two of you.

5. Try role playing.  While you may have been together for what seems like forever, there is a way to make things new between you again.  Try role playing every once in awhile, as this will allow you to be new people together but still have a level of comfort that can really turn up the heat!

Every man finds that there are certain things about women that they just don’t understand.  The fact of the matter is that women do some things that make them a mystery to men and when they have the answers suddenly they will understand them more.  When you understand what it is that a woman is doing and why, suddenly you won’t misinterpret her intentions and you may even appreciate what she is doing—or at least be able to tolerate it.

Many men wonder why their girlfriends feel the need to fix their friends up with their friends.  The fact of the matter is that no one understands the need to be in a relationship better than the typical women.  This is just the way that humans are set up and women feel compelled to help make it work for their friends and for the friends of her man.  This isn’t that she needs to have her friends with her or anything like that, although that is a benefit, she is just trying to make the world one big, happy, loving place.

Wondering why women always go to the bathroom together?  Every group date usually involves the women going to the restroom together.  So many men wonder exactly what is going on there and the answer is that women are bonding.  How can they bond in the bathroom?  It allows for them to share their thoughts and feelings about the men they are with in a women only environment.  This is a truly bonding experience that transcends all settings, classes, and relationships.

Are you one of the many men that wonders why women assume you are going to pay the bill?  This is something that irks a lot of men, but it shouldn’t.  The fact is that this is tradition, historically men have been the ones who court the women.  In the past women would never dare ask a man out, so because he asked he paid.  Unfortunately, even if the man does not ask these days he still is expected to pay.  This is becoming a little bit less common as time goes on, but it’s not totally over.

Another mystery that a lot of men associate with women is their need to snuggle up and be affectionate after sex.  Men just don’t understand this on a whole, but women look at sex from an emotional point of view.  The result is that they want to feel loved and valued after their sexual experience.  Men don’t have the same view of sex, there doesn’t have to be an emotional connection, but for a woman the post-coital snuggling is a way to validate their connection that goes beyond sex.

There are a lot of myths out there about men that a lot of women buy into.  These myths should definitely be put to rest, if for no other reason than the fact that a lot of men and women are losing out on some really great experiences and relationships.  While the myths may apply to some men, a lot of the myths just don’t apply to the majority of men out there and it’s important that women know this.

1. All men will cheat if given the opportunity.  This is probably one of the longest standing myths about men that just is not accurate.  While a lot of men will cheat if given the opportunity, the fact of the matter is that men are not any more eager to cheat in general than women are.  A lot of men are looking for a monogamous relationship and wouldn’t cheat if they were committed to someone.

2. Men don’t want to be with a woman who is more intelligent or as intelligent as them.  Many women feel like they have to down play how intelligent they really are.  The fact of the matter is that most men do like intelligent women and they want to be with their intelligent peers.

3. Another common myth about men is that they don’t want to be with a woman who is more successful than they are.  The fact of the matter is that most men want a woman who is confident in who she is, and if that makes her successful than so be it.  Only 6% of men polled in a recent study said they would be uncomfortable if their date or wife was more successful than they are.

4. A lot of women feel like men just are not romantic.  The fact of the matter is that a lot of men are romantic, they just have a different view of what romance is.    Men like to be romantic in general and they like to make a woman feel special, they just don’t always do it at the time when a woman is expecting it, and the fact is that some men are more romantic than others.

5. Probably the biggest myth about men is that they don’t like to commit.  This just isn’t the case.  It is difficult to say that all men don’t like commitment, just as you couldn’t say that about all women.  A lot of men are all about commitment, this doesn’t mean that every man that you will ever meet will be ready to commit, but when it is right it is right.  There are both men and women who aren’t ready to commit, but to say that all men are not willing to commit just isn’t true.

Women often feel as though they are getting mixed messages from men and they get frustrated.  The truth is that men aren’t giving mixed messages; it is just that there is a gap in what men say and what women hear.  Men are not often as straight forward as women would like them to be, so much of what they say seems vague and just not very clear.  The result is that women often find themselves trying to read between the lines, and this can lead to trouble because the way that a woman may perceive something may be the exact opposite of the way that the man meant for it to be taken…or not.  When you have an idea of what he is trying to say, it will make it a lot easier to figure him and what he wants out!

Below are some common things that men say that are often misunderstood by women:

1. “Those are great shoes.”  Or you could insert any belonging where we have put shoes in.  When a man says that he likes something that you are wearing or that you have, it means that he likes you; he’s just being coy about it.  He wouldn’t bother to look at what you’re wearing if he didn’t like you.

2. “I’m listening” or even “I hear you”.  When a man says this he is stating that he can physically hear you, but he is not in the mood to get in a long, drawn out conversation on the issue.  If he says this, it would be better to hold off until a time when you can both talk and really be understood.

3. “I think you may be too good for me.”  When a man says this, this is never good news.  What he is trying to say, in the most respectful way possible, is that he doesn’t want to be involved in a romantic relationship with you anymore. He’s trying not to hurt your feelings, so just let him off easy.

4. “Let’s hang out sometime.”  When he says this, he is asking you out, he just isn’t being straight forward about it.  He wants to spend time with you and get to know you better; generally you can take this as a good sign that he likes you and is asking you out on a date in a very round about way.

5. “I think I’m falling for you.”  When a man says this is means that he really likes you and is getting closer and closer to actually saying that four letter word, but he wants to make sure that you will reciprocate.  This is a good time to say it if you feel it, or at least return the sentiment that you are also falling for him, if you are.

Have you always enjoyed a very relaxed and failure proof relationship and suddenly you are struggling?  If so, you don’t have to simply call it quits.  All relationships hit rough patches and there are things that you can do to help smooth the waters a bit and get your relationship back to where you want it to be.  If you follow a couple simple steps chances are you will be able to restore the peace in your relationship that you have come to enjoy.

1. The first thing you need to do is just figure out what is going on.  What has changed so that suddenly you aren’t enjoying the relationship that you have come to know and love?  Sit down and talk with your partner and ask them how they are feeling.  Don’t place blame, but be open with one another about the details of where you think things might have gone wrong.  This will be a great way to get back to where you should be in your relationship.

2. The next thing you need to do is own your part of where things when wrong.  You don’t have to place blame, but you need to accept that you had a hand in where things are today and that you can have a hand in getting the relationship back to where you want it to be.  When you accept your part in the process you’ll be on your way to a better relationship.

3. Do away with all of your previous beliefs about dating and have your lover do the same.  Unfortunately we all have rules or myths that we buy into that often hold us back from being really good in a relationship.  Do away with all of these limits and open yourself up to what is really going on in front of you.  If you do away with all of these preconceived notions you will find that your relationship is better for it.

4. Get rid of all of the behaviors that sabotage your relationship.  You may find that you both sabotage yourself as well as one another.  You need to define these behaviors that are hurting your relationship and put a stop to them.  When you do this you will have a much more positive inner and outer dialog, which will help you nurture a much more healthy relationship.

5. Reconnect.  Take time out to reconnect on the most loving level possible.  This is important because you don’t just want to spent time together; you want to reconnect in a loving way.  You will need to define together how you will reconnect and then you need to make this a part of your regular routine.  When you reconnect regularly you will be better able to handle stressors when they come along so that things don’t go way off track again in the future.

There are things that you may do or characteristics that you may possess that will turn a man off.  It isn’t that you are a nice person, but there are some fundamental things that will turn a guy off and have him breaking up with you without looking back.  Men like certain traits in women and there are some things that most men do not like in a woman.  Avoid these behaviors or developing these traits to get and keep the man of your dreams:

Don’t get sloppy drunk when you are out with friends or out at the bar.  Not only will you not make the best decisions when you are in this state, chances are that you are embarrassing him in front of his friends.  He wants a woman who can go out and have a good time without making a fool of herself and him!

Don’t lie.  While sometimes the little white lie may not seem like a big deal, do your best to be honest with your man.  If he finds out that you lie, even about the smallest things, he will not trust you.  He’ll say if you lie about little things you might be lying about big things as well.  If he doesn’t trust you he’ll drop you like a hot potato!  Keep it honest if you want to keep him.

Work on your confidence.  A man wants a woman who can stand beside him instead of behind him, so before you go out and begin dating, work on your confidence.  Nothing is more attractive than a woman who is sure of herself and her place in the world.  No one I 100% confident all the time, but you need to work on it, and when you aren’t confident, you need to fake it until you make it.

Don’t cheat!  The worst thing that you can do if you want to keep a man is to cheat on him.  Cheating hurts no matter who does it and who it is done to, but if you want to keep your man you won’t be caught cheating on him.  A man needs to trust a woman and when you cheat all of the trust that you have built quickly goes out the window.  While a lot of women choose to stay around after a man has been unfaithful, the majority of men will walk away without any regrets.

Of course, every man is different so you need to get to know your man and what he wants from you.  You need to be yourself, but you also need to remember that there are certain things that will turn a man off.  To keep from turning him off and turning him away, make sure that you work on yourself and that you are the best that you can be, so that you can give all of yourself to the relationship to make it work.