When Her Best Friend is a Man
When you are dating someone that you really like and everything is going smashingly you may be stopped in your tracks when she tells you that her best friend is a man. If you are like most men your jaw will drop for a few moments before you start to get some awful fantasies running through your mind about what her and her best friend do when they are alone together. Before you freak out you should definitely take a breather.
Before you write her and the relationship off completely you should ask her about her best male friend. You should ask her when they met, how long they have been friends, and what they do together. You should simply show an interest in who this guy is and what part he plays in her life. By doing this you can get some much needed information about the other man in her life while making her feel like you are taking an interest in all areas of her life.
Next, you should ask to meet her best friend. You shouldn’t make it sound like you want to size up the competition, instead you should just make it seem like you want to get to know her friends and be a part of every part of her life. She will appreciate this and she will be excited to introduce you to her friends, if they are really just friends. Make sure that you make yourself available to meet this best friend or she may pick up on your worries associated with him and get defensive.
When you meet the best friend, you need to come across as friendly as possible without being overly friendly. You need to simply check him out, get to know him, see if he seems jealous of you at all, and go from there. You can learn a lot if you just sit back and watch the two of them together. You may find when you watch them that they really are friends and this can put you at ease. If you find that they are just a little too touchy feely, it is good to know this about the two of them now instead of later.
After you meet the best friend you will probably feel better about things. Chances are you will see that he is just a friend and that they have no interest in one another. If you are worried about the relationship, ask your girlfriend about them. Tell her that you really liked her friend but that you feel a little jealous about their connection. If she gets defensive, you may have something to worry about. The best thing that you can do is feel it out as you go along and go from there.