Relationships Articles

Are you in one of those relationships where everything outside of the bedroom is perfect?  You enjoy doing a lot of the same things?  You share the same beliefs?  You have the same value system?  And you even have unbelievable chemistry?  Many times when you have all of this going on you just assume that it will translate into the bedroom.  But, what happens when it doesn’t?  This can be really disconcerting and you may feel like it was all just one big joke, but don’t give up, you’re just getting started.

Before you assume that the sex will never be good:

1. Give it another shot.  Often times the first few times you have sex with someone so much of what occurs happens because one of both of you is nervous.  When you are nervous the sex is not going to be the best ever, so simply give it some time.  Give it at least five or six times before you become concerned.  You will often find that the more comfortable you get with one another the better the sex becomes.

2. Try something new.  Don’t just keep doing the same thing over and over if it is not working.  Instead, you should make sure that you are trying out different positions and just seeing what works.  Often it is just a matter of finding what works for the two of you.  Each set of people fits together and moves together just a bit differently, so don’t be afraid to experiment.

3. Tell your mate what you like.  If you are not feeling satisfied with the sex that you have already had, try sharing what you do like.  Often when we are new to a sexual relationship what we really need is guidance.  By telling your partner what you like and encouraging them to do the same you will be able to please one another in ways that you may not have been able to do in the past.  Sharing your likes and dislikes is a great way to communicate what you want.

4. Get a book or a video.  Try watching or reading something that will get the two of you turned on or perhaps shows something being done the way you like it done.  This is a great way to share with your partner what your likes and dislikes are and just add something new and exciting to your sexual routine.  Remember, experimentation can be your best friend when you aren’t being pleased sexually.

5. Tell your partner you aren’t being satisfied.  Many times if you don’t say anything your partner would simply assume that you are happy.  Tell them in a nice way that you are not as satisfied as you would like to be, and then talk about it.  When you allow for this dialog you may find that they are not as happy as they want to be either, and then you can create a plan that will help you both get what you want from your sexual interactions.